Here is an article I wrote in 2011, after some heavy Buddhist reading and while finding my way as a newly qualified counsellor, originally titled ‘The Dalai Lama and Counselling’. I have made some slight edits to the writing below, but you can see the original article here.
I have recently learnt a lot from the Dalai Lama’s teachings and couldn’t help but notice a strong link between the Dalai Lama and Counselling. I think one thing that we would all agree with is the universal desire for more happiness in our lives and as little suffering as possible.
The Dalai Lama often talks about our inner world, the power of self and that, ultimately, we are in control of how we feel. Again, this is something that was emphasised through my own counselling training. We all face suffering, difficulties and hardship, but what matters and varies so much, is how we react to these things (the second arrow). The same event can happen to many people, and the variety of impact and reaction between each person can be astounding. Group therapy or personal development groups are clear illustrations of this phenomena. This can also show us how our varying internal worlds impact the rest of our lives and responses.
I believe strongly that through self-awareness, we can really begin to alter how we see both ourselves and the world around us. It can also help us see things much more realistically and be aware of our own triggers and difficulties. We all have an innate desire to better ourselves and also the ability to find the answers that we are looking for, clearly complimenting the person-centred approach and the actualising tendency.
For me, this is where counselling comes in. Counselling offers a place where you are free to be you, free to talk about what you like and free to express yourself without the fear of judgement. I truly believe that this is the best environment for us to begin to understand ourselves and move closer to a more congruent way of being, resulting in less psychological tension. Once we begin to see why certain things makes us angry, or why we reacted a certain way to an event, then we begin to know ourselves on a deeper level and I believe that this is the most precious relationship we have.
If we hold on to, and are unaware of, our fears, frustrations, prejudices, etc., then we act out these emotions, often unknowingly, which will more often than not have a very negative impact on not just those around us, but ourselves as well. If we are at more peace with who we are and have greater self-awareness, then I believe that our attitudes towards both ourselves and others change for the better.
I think it is important that we don’t shy away from our ability to understand ourselves better, whilst not dismissing how difficult this can be at times. If we are able to offer both ourselves and others love, understanding, support and care, then this can have a clear knock-on effect to those around us, resulting in a much more accepting and compassionate world.
There can be so much judgement and pressure around in today’s world and, through counselling, we are given a space where we can truly be ourselves without fear of judgement. Having this space enables us to get to know and develop our true selves, as well as feeling more aligned with who this person is.
I believe that with a stronger sense of self, inner peace and greater happiness, we can then approach the world with much less fear, anger, judgement, violence and prejudice. I think we can all agree that would be a much better world to be in.
You can find the original article posted on the Counselling Directory here
